a transcription of the poem read on the home page of this issue

by Safia Elhillo

in the divorce i separate to two piles                 books:
       english      love songs: arabic
my angers   my schooling    my long repeating name
       english    english    arabic

i am someone’s daughter but i am american born        it
       shows in my short memory
my ahistoric glamour     my clumsy tongue when i forget the
       word for [ ] in arabic

i sleep         unbroken dark hours on airplanes home           &
       dream i’ve missed my
connecting flight      i dream a new & fluent mouth full of
       gauzy swathes of arabic

i dream my alternate               selves each with a face
       borrowed from photographs of
the girl who became my grandmother   brows & body
       rounded & cursive like arabic

but wake to the usual borderlands     i crowd shining slivers
       of english to my mouth
iris    crocus   inlet   heron         how dare i love a word
       without knowing it in arabic

& what even is       translation is immigration        without
       irony         safia
means pure           all my life it’s been true           even in my
       clouded arabic

Poem copyright 2017 by Safia Elhilli. All rights reserved.

See more poems from Safia Elhillo on The Fight & The Fiddle: “Portrait of Christopher,” “Outdoor Waiting Area,” and  “Psychogeography.” 

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Read more in this issue: Interview | Critical Essay | Writing Prompt