by Mahogany L. Browne
asleep crying
after the saddest most honest moment
with my only child
she said
you are cool mom
and i replied
i know
we giggled briefly
before i stopped
and said i again
no really, i know
i am the mother i wish i had
2.
if the pen is too heavy to unsheathe
if the rejection is too painful to be silent
if the silence is too deadly to gather loudly
if the volume is insufferable
ask yourself:
what is the use of a cup with a crack in it
what is the blues without clap in it
who are the victors profiting from our agony
who dies when you remain tethered to the ego of your own making
who thrives when you become sick of suffering
3.
what does healing look like
or what does hope sound like
or what does love feel like
or what does family speak like
the answer be and has always been
YOU
YOU YOU
YOU
YOU YOU
YOU
YOU YOU
uh huh uh hummmmm
YOU YOU
YOU YOU YOU
ooooooh YOU YOU
concentric circle
cock eyed clang
home is here
O!
home is now
love too remains
forgiveness tree olive branch
extension
butter cream
cough
slide slide
forward
4.
once my mother was the only star in the sky / i could see her / i wanted to be her / and
years after addiction turned our family into memories of rubbled beginnings / a history of
forgotten spells / i think back to my mama / so long ago
it seems / i’ve been raising myself since i was 16 years old
/ suffering from panic attacks since the age of seventeen /
praying for my own soul since i was eighteen / a new york city transplant / the bay still in
me / 23 and mini-me arrived alone together / fearless by trial and fire
my mother / once the age I am now / became
a shipwreck of her shiniest memories / still a woman / breathing breathing being
/ more gone than remembered / less mother than whole / but alive
Poem copyright 2025 by Mahogany L. Browne. All rights reserved.
See other poems from Mahogany L. Browne debuted on The Fight & The Fiddle: “Cyclone,” and “Ain’t Stuntin’ Them.”
Read more in this issue: Interview | Critical Essay | Writing Prompt